Why We're Adopting

Today a friend shared a conversation she had with a person who changed her mind about donating an item for our auction when she realized we were adopting Crista from overseas.  It was very sad and it frustrated my friend.  She has a kind and giving heart and was upset that someone would refuse to help a child just because she wasn't born in the United States.

I know that many people look at international adoption as a "status thing".   While I'm sure there are some people out there who adopt from abroad for that reason (they like the idea of an "exotic" or "special" child), most don't.  In fact, I've never met a single person adopting a special needs child internationally who thought this way.

When we decided to adopt our sweet daughter, it wasn't because we were planning to adopt a child or felt that our family needed to be larger.  The truth is... we felt a connection to this little girl.  It wasn't a case of "we want another child".  It was a case of "this child needs US".

We have been criticized for not saving/raising more money before beginning our adoption process.  The answer to that question (why didn't you wait) is pretty simple, too.  Crista's file was due to be returned to the ministry within two weeks unless someone stepped up to commit to her.  At the time, we thought this meant she would lose her only chance to be adopted because she is considered "un-adoptable" in her home country.  (Yes, I know some people would argue this point, but it it plainly and sadly stated in her referral paperwork)  We searched our hearts and took a leap of faith.  We decided that this sweet girl should be our daughter and we took the first steps needed to begin the adoption process.

We didn't realize that people would focus so much on where she was born!  In our minds, that was a minor detail.  Yes... travel would be a hurdle that we would have to overcome, but our focus was on her.  She needed a home, medical care and therapy and we could give those things to her.  After all, we already have a child who has autism and has needed many therapies and interventions in the past.  We felt good about the fact that we were already educated about and prepared for many of her special needs.

I know that there are many children here in the United States who need good and loving homes.  I know that the adoption of one of those children would be much less expensive and take less time.  I think domestic adoption is great.  It's a wonderful thing and needs to happen more often.  In the past, Jason and I had talked about domestic adoption as a "what if".

We never intended to adopt a child internationally.  But God chose differently for us.

I spent many hours praying and asking God if this was the path we should take.  I asked for guidance and a sign that we were doing the right thing.  I believe his answer was "yes".  Every time I've asked for guidance, I've gotten it in the form of encouragement from strangers, paperwork "miraculously" being processed super fast, receiving surprise donations or items or funds, and many other things.

I guess what I'm saying is please don't judge us if you don't know us.  We're not looking adopting from abroad because we want a "status child" or because we don't believe American children aren't just as deserving of a loving home.  We're adopting Crista from overseas because that's where she is!  If she had been born here, we would be adopting her domestically.  Heck, if she had been born on Mars, I would be trying to figure out how to book a space flight!  (just joking... kind of)

The point is... it doesn't matter where she was born.  She's a child and we're her family.  That's really all that should matter.

Facebook auction!

Please check out our FaceBook auction!  https://www.facebook.com/ThreeLittleBirdsplusOneMore#!/media/set/?set=a.383282448411594.88958.304175849655588&type=3
There are some lovely items that have been donated by Etsy sellers that would make wonderful Christmas gifts! 

It's easy to bid in the auction.  You just "like" the main page, and then visit the photo album called the Countdown to Christiana Auction.  All of the photos are of auction items.  To bid, you just leave the amount of your bid in a comment.  It's very easy.  

Once the auction ends on October 26th, you make a donation in the amount of your bid (plus shipping) to our family fund.

We have hand crafted pottery, key fobs, a Waldorf doll from Croatia, wind chimes, honey, crocheted owls, and much more!  Please come and take a look.  This will be our last fundraiser before receiving our travel dates and we are still $2000 short of being funded for this trip!

Please give us a hand and help bring our daughter home!

Little Ones Finding Homes

I realized today that there are only two children left on Reece's Rainbow (from Christiana's orphanage) who haven't found families. They're both newly listed, so it's very possible that they will have families soo, too.
 http://reecesrainbow.org/39937/penny-2

http://reecesrainbow.org/39926/payton

Would you like to know how this was achieved and who made it possible? I'll tell you. It was made possible through the tireless work of a large group of people who have advocated for these sweet children and spread word of their need all over the internet! Here are a few of them....

Shelley Bedford. http://www.only1mom.com/
 She's a wonderful woman who has found families for so many children. She is the one who raised the funds to get medical care for the children who desperately needed it in the orphanage and who has been coordinating donations of special formula for them.

Amanda Unroe. http://lifeofthemomofmany.blogspot.com/
 Amanda just returned from Christiana's home country where she adopted 5 little sweeties.

Susanna Musser. http://theblessingofverity.com/
 Many of you know her as "Katie's Mom". She's worked tirelessly to spread awareness about the  terrible conditions that these children suffered in.

And last, but not least... all of the amazing women in the Reece's Rainbow group on Facebook. There are way too many to list here. Wonderful, generous, loving, kind... these words don't begin to describe them.

One last thing... I was asked recently if I thought it was possible to save "all of them" (orphans).  (It was asked with sarcasm, by the way.)
My answer is... probably not.  But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.  If only one out of the 143 million orphans in the world (yes... there are really that many) finds a home, it's worth it.  It's worth all of the blogging, fundraising, travelling, and effort. 

This girl... SHE is worth it all.

She is my 1 in 143 million.  She is my daughter.  Christiana Renee Matthews.

Ksenia

http://reecesrainbow.org/32168/ksenia-k


I'm reposting this blog from my friend Katie Beth's site.  This little angel needs a home desperately and can only be adopted by a Canadian family.  Her region will only accept Canadian families... otherwise this girl would have been in a home LONG ago.  

Can you help her by reading this blog post and sharing it... and her information with everyone you know?  Please help us find Ksenia's family before it's too late.



http://callmecrazycbus.blogspot.com/2012/05/not-too-late.html

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Not Too Late

I have been humbled this week. Humbled by a little girl, in a far away country... who I have never met. Sounds familiar, right? But no... this is different.

Meet Ksenia.

I may have mentioned her before. I'm not sure - I tried going back through my blog archives, but I talk too much. Ksenia is in Eastern Europe. She is in a region that is currently only open to Canadian families. If you are not among them, please do not stop reading here. You are still desperately needed.

This photo was taken at her Baby House (the orphanage where children generally reside between the ages of 0-5 years). What a precious little cherub, chubby cheeks, wispy hair.

Ksenia is nine years old now. She was born three months before my middle DBK, my A. This A, the one glowing with joy and life in this birthday picture.

My dear A has not had it easy... but at least on this day... her ninth birthday... she was treated the way a little girl should be treated... like a princess...

I wonder if Ksenia ever had cake. I'll bet she never had a birthday cake with candles, just for her. I know she didn't this year, when she turned nine. Why?

In Ksenia's country, after children 'age out' of their baby houses, they are transferred to institutions. Adult mental institutions. The standard of care there, if it was low at the baby houses, is usually deplorable. Ksenia, like many children, aged out of her baby house and was transferred. I intend to do a full post on the implications of that word, but that is for later. For now, I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

A new picture of Ksenia came in after she was transferred to the institution. Here is that chubby cheeked little cherub now.

Ksenia. Sweet baby girl. Child of God. Wasting away to skin and bones. Filthy. Shaven. Injured... probably at the hands of someone who was supposed to care for her. Abuse is all too common in some orphanages and institutions. Ksenia. Sweet angel. Waiting, all this time, for a Mama and Papa to come. Hanging on through her misery. Unable to do a single thing to help herself. Precious girl. Treated like nothing.

This picture haunts me. I see it when I close my eyes. I don't need to bring it up on my computer screen to remember how heartbreaking it is. I can see them side by side... Ksenia the way she used to be... Ksenia the way she is now. Because of what was done to her... when she should be treated like the princess she is.


Here is the reason I am posting about Ksenia tonight.


Sometimes, special needs children simply 'disappear' from the databases that list them. Sometimes their files are simply no longer with an agency. Sometimes they're gone, without a trace, and we can only guess at what happened to them. Were they adopted, seen for the beautiful individuals they are, in their native country? Were they transferred elsewhere and simply not relisted? Or... worst of all... as children do in orphanages and institutions across the world every day... could they have passed away?

A few days back, Ksenia 'disappeared' from her country's database. She disappeared from Reece's Rainbow. Having seen her most recent picture, most of us were sure this meant the worst for Ksenia. Or no. Perhaps not the worst. Perhaps... a fate worse than death... is the one she's been living in that institution. We began to think, maybe it is for the best, if she's beyond pain, beyond suffering, with Jesus, now.

Ksenia was re-listed today. She is alive. She is still waiting. I praise the Lord for His deliverance of this angel from what we were sure was a tragic end. But at the same time, my heart breaks all over again, because I know that tonight, while I lie here warm in my bed, Ksenia still waits.



We almost lost her. We were sure she was gone. We were sure we were too late to help this little girl know the love of a Forever Family. We mourned. We lamented that we should have tried harder, should have screamed louder, for Ksenia. She sat, waiting for adoption, for YEARS... and no family came forward. Perhaps they all thought someone else would do it.

Our hearts broke.

Then, we were given a second chance. We didn't lose Ksenia. Not yet. But if we don't hurry, we will. This is me, jumping at this second chance. This is me screaming for Ksenia like I should have screamed before. This is me praying, hoping, begging someone to be her Mama, to deliver her from this evil, because I would do it myself if I could... but I'm ineligible.

Here is Ksenia's listing on Reece's Rainbow. Again, she can only be adopted by Canadian families at this time. If you are not Canadian, won't you consider sharing Ksenia with everyone you know, so that through the grapevine, her Forever Family might see her? If you are Canadian, won't you consider sharing Ksenia with everyone you know, so that she might find her Forever Family? Won't you ask your friends to share too? And if you are Canadian, considering adoption... won't you consider Ksenia? Won't you consider saving a life we've been given a second chance to redeem? Donations are not being collected at this time, but I know dozens who are just itching to help bring her home. The obstacle in her adoption will not be financial.

This precious angel has Down Syndrome. That is the crime that has landed her in the place she is today. Down Syndrome. A diagnosis that means many things. An extra chromosome. Some unique challenges. But a diagnosis that should NOT mean living out her numbered days suffering in an institution. Sadly, in Ksenia's country, it usually does. But this doesn't have to be her ending. It almost was. We were sure that her story ended in tragedy. But it hasn't. Not yet.

Ksenia still has a chance. But whether you're eligible and considering adoption, ineligible, not considering adoption, whoever you are, wherever you are... YOU are her chance. Her family will never see her if we do not share her short, sad story with the world.

Won't you help me make this 'second chance' count? Won't you please help me save her life?

Sweet Ksenia... hang on, precious angel. Someone is going to come for you. We're going to make sure of it.